Jay-Z feat. Justin Timberlake – ‘Holy Grail’

Steve Shaw: Holy shit. (0)

Chris Kelly: A microcosm of the album. While Timberlake’s contributions are heartfelt, Jay-Z sounds like he’s laboring on his verses, as if he can’t jibe with the beat. His references don’t land: Tyson and Hammer are stale (even if they’re not as pitiful as his Miley Cyrus and Basquiat refrains elsewhere), and the much-hyped ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ crib disregards the fact that Jay-Z’s Samsung deal would be anathema to Cobain. (3)

John Twells: I know everyone will want to slate this, but I have to say I’ve heard it so much on the radio this last week I’ve really come around to it. The Nirvana snippet is pretty dicey and embarrassing, but even that after a few plays is almost passable. Jay’s not exactly on masterful form, but this is definitely not as bad as everyone’s making out. (6)

Brad Rose: At what point does Hova just finally have a serious conversation with himself and stop making rap records?  It can’t happen too soon. Look, I like Jay Z a lot (Reasonable Doubt would make my all-time top 20), but everything about Magna Carta Holy Grail is just ugh. No thanks. (4)

Chal Ravens: Jay-Z disobeys the first rule of Fame Club in this monstrous cut-and-shut job splicing a lovelorn chorus leftover from The 20/20 Experience with two of the most boring verses ever committed to tape. Memo to all celebrities: we don’t give a shit! Paparazzi, schmaparazzi, fellas – it’s no excuse for a lead single this weak, especially when you’ve got all that talent at your disposal. (3)

3.2

Rome Fortune – ‘Grind’

Brad Rose: Rome Fortune is quietly owning 2013, but I’m not sure how many people are noticing.  Beautiful Pimp is one of the year’s best and he’s kept the momentum with a string of tracks over the last few months.  “Grind” keeps it going with some unexpected production turns from FKi, bleaching everything in sight and giving Rome a blurry palette to work his magic with.  Some of the synth leads here remind me of Dam Funk which is never a bad thing, and with Rome spilling his laid back, trademark flow all over the place, this is one hell of a proper summer jam.  It’s so fucking smooth.  (8)

Chal Ravens: Wasn’t too fussed about the original; feel similar about the refix – it ticks all right boxes for a low-slung summer jam, I know, but it’s missing a memorable moment. Wallpaper music for heatwaved stoners. (5)

John Twells: Rome Fortune is probably my favourite discovery this year, and his unhurried, pointed flow is always just as enjoyable as his incredibly savvy choice of producers. ‘Grind’ is just ace, perfectly continuing of the kind of enterprising work we heard on Beautiful Pimp, and adding a certain je ne sais quoi with the cheeky Les Sins sample. FKi’s restrained production is brilliant too, but more than anything ‘Grind’ is a reminder that just because you’re from Atlanta and make rap, you don’t need to spit over endless Zaytoven pastiche to prove it. (8)

Chris Kelly: Everything clicks on this one: the Les Sins sample, some subtle tweaks by the usually over-indulgent FKi crew, and — most importantly — Rome Fortune at his languid-but-lyrical best. It’s the little things, too; I love the instrumental pause at 2:25. (8)

Steve Shaw: I’ve already laid into this Bundick instrumental on the Singles Club before, but this is how it should have been done from the outset. While it’s not a patch on Moodymann, it’s not at all bad either. Basically, it’s the kind of thing I’d only end up listening to at a mate’s Sunday night birthday drinks in a Shoreditch r’n’b bar, but I’m totally down with that. (7)

7.2

Machinedrum – ‘Eyesdontlie’ (DJ Shadow Remix)

Chal Ravens: So this is what “too future” sounds like, is it? I predict a fairly negative reaction to this one, but personally I’m rather charmed by its all-over-the-place-ness and its cheeky flirtations with brostep. That absurdly elongated build to the nervous breakdown at 1:52 skirts on the edge of madness with aplomb. (7)

Steve Shaw: ‘flithy dirty dope’, ‘FUTURE BASS’, ‘OMG that’s hardcore.’, ‘!!bangin’, ‘!m!’, ‘my face just melted off..completely’, ‘Rad I love ninja tune! Check out my new tracks guys :)’ – This is a selection of Soundcloud comments for this track that I disagree with.  (4)

Brad Rose: Holy shit!  I was weirdly excited to hear this and now I just want to pour a bunch of bleach in my ears and hope that somehow erases what I’ve just heard.  The first part sounds like it’s probably on the new Moby album and it just gets worse/more stupid from there before circling back around.  I really hope he got paid well for this piece of shit. (3)

John Twells: It’s been a very long time since I’ve been excited by the mention of DJ Shadow, and this does zero to change that. It’s basically just vaguely tasteful clown-trap with some Machinedrum samples right? (3)

Chris Kelly: To paraphrase, this shit is too future for me. (2)

3.8

Iamsu! feat. Problem – ‘The Realest’

Chal Ravens: This is the kind of music that makes me wish I had a car. Really like the way he says ‘urgh’ about 15 seconds in. Thumbs up. (6)

Brad Rose: Considering this is a bonus track on a ‘deluxe’ version of a fairly middling mixtape, there was little reason to think it’d be anything more than a throwaway track.  Yet, “The Realest” is totally doing it for me.  Both rappers float in and out perfectly, matching each other and then some while the hook is just catchy enough to get ingrained in my skull without driving me nuts.  It’s all pretty simple and straightforward but that’s working for the track.  Seriously, this is better than just about everything on the ‘non-deluxe’ version of Iamsu’s Kilt II tape; no idea why it was left off.  Ratchet up.  (7)

Chris Kelly: I tend to dismiss musicians with punctuation marks in their names, but I might need to change my stance: Iamsu!’s souped-up Mustard beat bangs, and whoever sung the hook has me reminiscing about Danny Boy’s 2pac hooks. (7)

John Twells: Iamsu!’s brand of ratchet isn’t bad per se, but there’s something about his flow and his choice of beats that tends to leave me just a little bit unimpressed. ‘The Realest’ is merely a bonus track from his recent KILT 2 mixtape, but for some reason it manages to hit just that little bit harder than the tape itself did. There’s just a hint of sadness in the bright, rolling ratchet beat and with Problem around to help out, things just seem to fall right into place. (7)

Steve Shaw: There is a certain irony that this track features Problem, as the entire thing is extremely fucking problematic for my patience. (0)

5.4

Lil Silva – ‘No Doubt’

John Twells: Well this is fantastic isn’t it? It’s a proper song, full of harmonies and deliciously smooth, breathy vocals, but somehow it doesn’t lose the beating heart of Lil Silva’s beloved UK funky. It feels like it’s doing nothing new, but that’s deceptive – Silva has taken a bunch of well-trodden elements and manage to arrive on something that sounds bizarrely futuristic. If they re-made Bladerunner in Birmingham, this would be playing in the obligatory bar scene. (8)

Chris Kelly: This one feels like Sampha until that bassline turns up. I don’t mind that it’s gentler than what we’ve come to expect from him, but I wish that the vocals were more than a loop; as is, I fear it will get lost in the shuffle. (6)

Steve Shaw: It all starts off so well? I’d never have expected that kind of soulful, gospel sound. But then it goes into shuffling territory. I know it must be a bitch reading critics like me alternating between opinions on new UK house being either weak and floppy or just harking back to older days and not doing it as well, but overall this really just treads the two without offering anything much beyond it. And that’s a real shame. I still hear ‘Seasons’ getting smashed out all the time and, while I appreciate you can’t do that kind of thing all the time, I kind of wish Lil Silva didn’t have access to so much production knowledge now. At least there’s always his Club Constructions release. (4)

6

Snoop Dogg – ‘Passenger Seat’

Chal Ravens: Solid Snoop, this – music for red-eyed riding, with a touch of the dark side thanks to that minor key sample. Yet another song making me wish I had wheels. (6)

Steve Shaw: It’s pretty obvious Snoop was never actually going to hold on to Snoop Lion, but I was surprised at how good this was. Definitely just a passing track for him in his catalogue – mixtape material – but Cardo’s instrumental is excellent; bubbling, dreamy, saccharine and totally immersive. More than anything though, shout out to ‘you fuckin’ corkscrew-faced, havin’ ass motherfucker’ and something about ‘wangs’ in the drops. (8)

John Twells: To be honest, the Snoop Lion stuff was so utterly lamentable that Snoop could really just tape a lit fart and it could be touted as a return to form, but ‘Passenger Seat’ is actually a damn sight more enjoyable than it should be. It’s hardly comparable to any of his finest moments, even the latter-day classics like ‘Sexual Seduction’ and ‘Gangsta Love’, but it’s good to have him back all the same. (6)

Brad Rose: I’m way more into Snoop Dogg the entity than Snoop Dogg the rapper/artist/whatever (to be fair I think Snoop is as well).  I mean, has Snoop busted ANY good raps in the past decade? I loved ‘Sexual Seduction’ but it had nothing to do with Snoop actually rapping.  Hell, even at his height in the 90s, it’s still hard to argue he was a great rapper.  And yet, he’s churned out a number of stone cold classics and has had more staying power than I imagine anyone thought possible. ‘Passenger Seat’ is certainly the best thing he’s done in ages (Fucking Snoop Lion) and while it’s hardly mind-blowing, Snoop’s ’90s flow shows up in spades as he spits lackadaisically over Cardo’s bummer production.  I don’t think I’ll ever get excited for a new Snoop record, but I’ll at least spin this tune more than once.  (6)

Chris Kelly: It certainly is refreshing to hear Snoop to leave the Lion at home, even if just for a five minute low-rider cruise. Unfortunately, for every mention of the LBC or Hennessy, there’s a line like “put your feet to the pavement, look at my behavement” or wordplay like “system of solar”. (4)

6

Randomer – ‘Ruffa’

John Twells: Grotty and brilliant, this sounds like a Drexciya cover made on a Speak ‘n Spell and if you don’t like the idea of that you probably don’t like electronic music very much. Makes me want to jump into a car, turn this up and blow out the speakers. (8)

Steve Shaw: On the surface this could be described as simply a tool track, but the beauty is in the transformation of the distortion; the first four-and-a-half minutes really end up feeling like a build to that last gnarly minute. Nice job. (7)

Chal Ravens: The surge of abrasive, industrial-weight techno we’ve experienced in the past year or so has possibly reached peak mass now, but Randomer shows us how it’s done on this one, managing to be both deviant and classy at the same time. Soundcloud users put it neatly, as always: “FUCKING HELL”; “Perfect rhythem! [sic]”; “TAKE MY MONEY”. (8)

Chris Kelly: Barebones and noisey but not overly serious. If you make it to the end, your speakers might not. (6)

7.3

Ariel Pink & Jorge Elbrecht – ‘Hang On To Life’

Brad Rose: I recognize that I’m in the vast minority here, but there’s always been something about Ariel Pink that grates on my every last nerve.  I can’t count on two hands the number of times people have tried to convince me I was missing out, that he’s just so clever and I should really love what he’s doing.  Half a decade later and I still think his music is incredibly uninteresting and overrated. The uber-flaccid ‘Hang On To Life’ certainly does nothing to change my mind.  How Ariel Pink has become one of indie’s music sacred cows is beyond me – he might have a great PR team, but fuck if his music isn’t still boring as hell. (4)

John Twells: This is one of those tracks I was totally ready to have a good old moan about, but totally took me by surprise. It’s cheesy as all hell, but that’s the point, and those vocal harmonies… well there’s a lump in my throat and I’m pretty sure it’s not my lunch. The soundtrack to lambs frolicking, bunnies hopping, daisies blowing in the summer breeze and all that good stuff. (7)

Chal Ravens: “You screwed the pooch”? Not familiar with this idiom, but keen to know more (my only interpration is “you had intercourse with the dog” – seems specious). This is perfect Pink, if a little on the polished side, and deeply rewarding on repeat listens. Extra marks for the underwater bubbling noises. (8)

6.3

Final Scores:

Randomer – ‘Ruffa’ (7.3)
Rome Fortune – ‘Grind’ (7.2)
Ariel Pink & Jorge Elbrecht – ‘Hang On To Life’ (6.3)
Lil Silva – ‘No Doubt’ (6)
Snoop Dogg – ‘Passenger Seat’ (6)
Iamsu! feat. Problem – ‘The Realest’ (5.4)
Machinedrum – ‘Eyesdontlie’ (DJ Shadow Remix) (3.8)
Jay-Z feat. Justin Timberlake – ‘Holy Grail’ (3.2)