Hudson Mohawke – ‘Chimes’

Angus Finlayson: MIDI horns and distorted 808s? Must’ve taken you ages mate. (2)

Alex Macpherson: I can’t help judging everything HudMo’s done by the standards of ‘Fuse’, which I partly feel is unfair because how can anyone ever live up to one of the greatest dance tracks ever made? But then he’s the one still releasing, essentially, adequate but slightly inferior variations on it. (6)

Chris Kelly: I’ve gotten used to trap producers dumbing down the TNGHT formula, so perhaps it was only a matter of time before HudMo took the same approach. This sound was much more potent circa ‘Thunder Bay’; this is a graceless hulk where everything is too far in the red and even the gentler, pitch-shifted vocals seem borrowed from ‘Tuscan Leather’. The ouroboros is beginning to resemble a human centipede. (3)

Joe Muggs: Hrmmmm. It IS excellent at what it does, but where’s the weirdness? The lurch? The grime. Competence is not enough – BRING BACK WONKY. (6)

Joe Moynihan: Apple sent me here!!!2 Likee this comment if saem

For real though, HudMo is out here continuing to confirm my worries that once Warp signs a promising (or already incredible) artist these days their output gets progressively boring and/or unimaginative. I’m still optimistic for what Mount Kimbie are up to, but after that new bit from Rustie the other week I’m just not excited about his follow-up anymore and now this… well, it’s apparently been floating about for time and I only heard it for the first time last week which probably reveals how vital I consider Hud Mo’s tunes these days. This gets a bonus point for the wicked EP artwork though. (5)

Yung Muggs (4½): This sounds like a trip to space. It’s like outer space music. A friendly alien trying to get onto a planet, and destroy any bad aliens’ planets. That’s it, I can’t have any more thoughts. (9)

5.2

SBTRKT feat. Ezra Koenig – ‘New Dorp, New York’

Joe Moynihan: Here, I heard that your mum’s new boyfriend read about this tune in the Guardian Guide and thought he’d tell you all about it ‘cos you’re like, into music and all that. (3)

Chris Kelly: Paint-by-numbers electro-funk for kids who sing LCD Soundsystem’s ‘Losing My Edge’ without a hint of irony. Modern vampires of boring DFA-bait. (4)

Joe Muggs: The track is rock solid, I’m absolutely torn on the vocal though – it could be great, it could be the worst thing in the world, and only massive over-exposure will reveal which. Which is fortunate as this will probably be massively over-exposed. It does remind me of Beck ‘Midnite Vultures,’ though, which is never a bad thing And I HATE Vampire Weekend. (6)

Chal Ravens: To SBTRKT’s credit, I wasn’t expecting anything like this. Recruiting Ezra Koenig probably seemed like a savvy move towards crossover appeal in the board meeting, but look what he’s gone and done – he’s turned it into a Vampire Weekend track with his hiccupy whiteboy jivetalk about “white women dancing”. And it’s very ’00s. (5)

Angus Finlayson: I can just imagine SBTRKT’s manager on the phone: “Ezra Koenig. Vampire Weekend? They did that song with the… guitars. No? Well, it’ll open up a new market for us. He’s already got some lyrics, says he came up with them in the taxi on the way over. Something about dorks? Me neither, but that’s just the sort of audience we’re trying to- Yes, I tried Prince again. Still no response. Look, sometimes life is about settling for less.” (4)

Alex Macpherson: I didn’t think I could find Vampire Weekend even more suffocatingly insufferable but the sound of Ezra Koenig coming on like a funkless, even dorkier James Murphy is horrifying, not least because you know this won’t be the last time we have to endure it. Like a bore at a party who converses entirely in references, once he seizes on a new trick he just won’t stop. Get him out of here. (0)

Yung Muggs: I don’t really like this one. It doesn’t have enough dub, because I can’t feel it. I really don’t know what it is, because I’m feeling a bit wobbly today. Can we try another one? (4)

3.7

Sleep – ‘The Clarity’

Joe Muggs: Well, this doesn’t fuck about does it? Hard to give a rating something like this really – you might as well be critiquing an obelisk. I haven’t had the chance to blast this on building-sized speakers but on the assumption that it sounds like it should do in context, it’s an eight. (8)

Joe Moynihan: One of those tunes that reminds me that I really need to listen to more music that doesn’t have gunshots in once and a while. Sludgy, meandering brilliance that’ll lick off ya head. (7)

Angus Finlayson: About as interesting as one of those legalise-drugs-man diatribes you get subjected to in the small hours of a Bristol house party. Almost as long, too. (4)

Chris Kelly: At nearly 10 minutes in length, you should have enough time to fish out an extra-large band tee, re-hang a blacklight poster and light up that bong that looks like Satan’s cock. After listening to Master of Reality all month, all stoner metal sounds silly and reductive, but maybe that’s the point: the lyric “Iommic life complete” is nothing if not a loving tribute to the gods. (5)

Alex Macpherson: Initial pleasant surprise at finding a metal song listenable swiftly supplanted by boredom at it going absolutely nowhere and then barely stifled hilarity as those ridiculous guitar riffs started up midway through. Do you have to be a stoner to take it seriously and/or prize that kind of humour? Everyone needs one moral high ground and I’ll stand firm looking down on weed. (4)

Yung Muggs: Show me the picture, I like the picture, it’s got stairs! It looks also like a throne. With a door through it. The song’s alright. Is it drum’n’bass? It sounds like drum’n’bass. It’s slower but it does. [Looks out of the window nodding] I really like it. It’s a ten! Number ten! (10)

6.3

Mighty Mark – ‘Tryna Break Me Down’

Chal Ravens: In a week of throwbacks it’s a relief to get to some all-over-the-shop B-more with the brakes wrenched off. There’s either a very bold concept behind this or none at all, which is exactly as it should be – bung in some Autotune, slap a few breaks in there, a splash of spooky reversed cymbals… highbrow meets lowbrow and makes freaky babies. (6)

Joe Muggs: S’OK… Very slick, very clean, very FL Studio, tidy construction, but what distinguishes this in particular? Just feels like filler. (4)

Joe Moynihan: He’s right about this EP being varied; this is one of the most different Baltimore club tunes I’ve heard in ages. All the drop-outs, flipped and flipped again vocal chops and that minute-long confidence boost way more inspiring than the usual ‘raah fuck the haters’ routine keep you guessing throughout without ever losing club functionality. Baltimore club is the rare candy glitch that keeps on giving, but this tune is the mythological Mew hiding behind the truck near the SS Anne. (8)

Alex Macpherson: Involves some of my favourite ingredients – rude attitude, clattering pace – but boiled to the bone they leave me cold: so intent on stripping club music to the rawest attitude and skeletal rhythms that there’s no flavour left. No character, either: the vocalists are rinsed for their charisma but fragmented to the point of anonymity subservient to the production, which is no more interesting than any DJ tool. The best bit is obviously the oratorial statement of self-love towards the end: I’d rather hear more from her than from Mighty Mark, to be honest. (5)

Chris Kelly: Jersey club has the blog-buzz momentum, but Baltimore producers know where East Coast club music was born. Mighty Mark takes potshots over a beat reminiscent of Blaqstarr at his sparsest and weirdest. (7)

Yung Muggs: Let me see the picture again. Is he a DJ? It’s a DJ and a lady. And look, all those speakers. Actually he can’t be a DJ because of all those orange clothes. WAIT – those speakers are a throne too! [Music starts] It’s a five. Five points. It’s space music too. I like it but it’s five. Five. It’s dance music? I couldn’t dance to it. (5)

5.8

Steve Arrington – ‘Without Your Love’

Chal Ravens: The combination of X-rated slap bass and repeated use of the word “luuurve” is not one to be argued with. (6)

Joe Muggs: Hard to find much wrong with this. The way the vocal is so upfront, unprocessed and unharmonised gives it a certain rawness that’s refreshing in this style. The hooks get into you after one listen. It’s a winner. (9)

Angus Finlayson: The world has plenty of Steve Arrington already, but a little bit more Steve Arrington is surely no bad thing. This is no ‘Dancin’ In The Key Of Life’, but it’s still Steve Arrington. (7)

Yung Muggs: [eyes widen after one bar, after three bars holds up all ten fingers] Ten! Ten! Ten! Is it jazz? I think you can dance to this. I feel happy. [Hops around the room eating a fig] (10) 

8

Kutmah – ‘Noise in my Brain’

Angus Finlayson: Brainfeeder does Coldwave: an idea so simple and effective it’s surprising nobody thought of it before Kutmah’s Black Wave Tapes came along. ‘Noise In My Brain’ displays a bit more polish and purpose than the weirdo beat collages found on those cassettes, which isn’t necessarily a good thing. At least, in the groggy baritone stakes, it’s a thousand times better than Matthew Dear. (7)

Joe Muggs: New Beat lives! Nice touch that half the noises in it sound like rubber squeaking. A very spanky record. (8)

Joe Moynihan: This stomps. Beg someone throws the ‘Milkshake’ acapella over the top though; one does not simply tease a beat in such a way without Kelis flying in from the top. (7)

Chal Ravens: Gotta say, I was fearing some over-stewed beat noodlings straight from the Brainfeeder Finishing School, but instead it’s sexed-up, kohl-eyed homage to EBM. And why not? The whole EP is a very welcome surprise. (7)

Yung Muggs: [again, immediately holds fingers up] Ten! Ten! Hmmmm… it’s not so much hoppy. The other one I liked to hop to. This is not hoppy music. [Tries hopping, falls over] I think it’s quite angry. It’s for night time. [Swooshes and zaps come in] Hmmm… It’s not angry – I thought it was angry, but it’s really outer space. I meant to say outer space when I said angry. I love it. (10)

7.8

Final scores:

Steve Arrington – ‘Without Your Love’ (8)
Kutmah- ‘Noise in my Brain’ (7.8)
Sleep – ‘The Clarity’ (6.3)
Mighty Mark – ‘Tryna Break Me Down’ (5.8)
Hudson Mohawke – ‘Chimes’ (5.2)
SBTRKT feat. Ezra Koenig – ‘New Dorp, New York’ (3.7)